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REVIEWED US LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes can be described as a meal you're too hungry to wait for, only to be disappointed with small servings on a plate that's just too big.

You've got your hype, your excitement for Metal Gear Solid V and the new advancements that go along with it, like smarter A.I, better lighting, faster, responsive and more fluid gameplay than we've ever seen yet in a Metal Gear Solid game, all the while experiencing the new cutscenes acted out by real people, with real faces. But where Ground Zeroes falters is being just as small as you were told.

In this game, you are Kiefer Sutherland's face, er, Big Boss, er, Snake! Yes, Snake, that's the one. On a quest to find some bitch that tried to steal your ride and kill your friends. You know, the one you killed last week in Peace Walker, except now she's alive again and this time you're here to save her, because reasons. And also Chico, who you secretly hoped would be retconned out of existence every time he opened his stupid mouth.

The game starts and you climb a mountain because apparently that shiny new stealth helicopter we bought isn't as inconspicuous as Kiefer Sutherland climbing a mountain with the most reflective fucking uniform on the planet. I mean really, even Andy Warhol was like "What the fuck is that".

After the first cutscene, you are assaulted by a barrage of calls from Kazuhira Miller who cannot just the fuck up and let you stealth your way anywhere because apparently you are completely and utterly retarded and need to be told how to do any and every basic human function, such as breathing in and out. Thanks Kaz!

Camp Omega is short but peppered with U.S. Marines with the eyesight of a fucking Super Saiyan hubble telescope. Seriously, fucking hell. Just leave me alone and let me steal these fucking people and go home already, it's like 10:00 PM and I'm tired.

You can crouch walk, crawl, or do what I did and just sprint your way everywhere, not giving a fuck about getting caught because I'm a card carrying member of the YOLO society.

Once you kill everyone in the base and get to Chico you can call a helicopter piloted by Morpho and wait for 30 fucking minutes I mean seriously I could have driven him there by now. "Morpho", more like Motherfucker where's my helicopter!

So you put Chico in the helicopter and any other P.O.W you can find, which turns out to be a whole school bus filled with the fuckers. Seriously how many of these people can even fit in this fucking thing? You put them in and save them because you are a nice guy and go about finding Paz, who is located where the wind blows and a flag can be heard and also people walking around, according to this stupid fucking tape I have to listen to because the game can't tell me "SHE'S IN THE BIG FUCKING BUILDING OVER HERE".

You pick her up and run out of the base, slowly inching your way forward until you remember that you are the harbinger of death and there is no one left alive on the base to worry about - except the people that was just spawned in right in front of you, that you have now alerted.

So you run away from the fucking explosions and get to the helicopter you forgot to call in, and then wait another 30 fucking minutes because apparently no one gives a shit that you are the leader of the entire corporation and without you it's all tits up. You fight your way through the waves of infinitely spawning enemies and try to put Paz in the helicopter but it's taking it's fine fucking time actually landing because he's too busy killing people somewhere else. YOU are a HELICOPTER. You do HELICOPTER STUFF, let ME, A NON HELICOPTER, WORRY ABOUT THE NON HELICOPTER STUFF. IS IT SO HARD!? WHEN WE GET BACK TO BASE YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

You get in the helicopter and leave, mission complete. Huey then calls in and pretends he's not in the process of completely fucking you and everyone on that base to death, literally.

Unfortunately, you've already seen this shit before because someone, AND I REPEAT, SOMEONE, DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SHOW THE ENDING OF THE GAME A YEAR PRIOR, IN A FUCKING TRAILER FOR ANOTHER FUCKING GAME.

So the only new story you get is to listen to Mr. Skeleton rape some girl a bunch, which is pretty hot, I won't lie.

In the end, I give the game a SOLID:





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Review: Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes can be described as a meal you're too hungry to wait for, only to be disappointed with small servings on a plate that's just too big. It does of course subvert this by having a few side courses and that helps fill the void, but unfortunately, that's all it does.


You've got your hype, your excitement for Metal Gear Solid V and the new advancements that go along with it, like smarter A.I, better lighting, faster, responsive and more fluid gameplay than we've ever seen yet in a Metal Gear Solid game, all the while experiencing the new cutscenes acted out by real people, with real faces. But where Ground Zeroes falters is being just as small as you were told.


In this game, you are Kiefer Sutherland's face, Big Boss, Snake, and your mission is to rescue Chico and Paz from Camp Omega, a U.S. operated black site for detaining enemy combatants. You can do this however you'd like by utilizing the new open world game design.


The open world might be a big sentiment as Camp Omega is very small and only gets smaller the more you familiarize yourself with it. The upside to this is the gameplay is very responsive, with Snake able to do all sorts of actions like pick locks, climb in the back of trucks and ride around as well as actually driving vehicles. The more you are exposed in these vehicles, the easier it is to be spotted. For instance, driving a jeep leaves you widely exposed which allows enemies to see you from further away, but driving a tank leaves you completely obscured so you can only be detected by crashing into something or running someone over.


The stealth works very well but is quite a challenge as enemies will notice you from very far away. Hang around long enough and they will investigate. Sometimes they will tell another character that they are going to investigate and that character will wait for their "all clear", and will go investigate after them if they don't hear back, so you have to be careful who you decide to knock out or leave behind. Sometimes it's better to work around enemies than put them to sleep because you never know if another character will find them and wake them up.


All in all, the enemy A.I. is very intelligent, often forming up into squads and searching in formation if you've triggered an alert and gone into hiding, and with their large line of sight, they will notice you very quickly. Once you're spotted, the enemy will start to surround you and flank you from all sides. They are quite deadly and often times you can't run away fast enough.


It was refreshing to see smart and capable A.I. compared to the enemies found in Peace Walker who had terrible line of sight and were very easy to take down. Of course in Peace Walker you had lots of weapons to choose from, which cannot be said about Ground Zeroes' limited weaponry.


You can find weapons in supply warehouses around the map and there are three in total. You may find a handgun, a shotgun, a sniper rifle or even a rocket launcher. But once you finish a mission, you are awarded new guns based on the rank you received in the missions, with S's and A's often rewarding assault rifles with scopes and grenade launchers/rocket launchers, which in turn makes it easier to finish the mission again later when you have these weapons at your disposal.


The one big disappointment is the lack of new story. The ending to the game was revealed in the red band trailer for The Phantom Pain way back when it was first released. I was almost in disbelief to get to the ending credits and honestly not see anything new. I was very disappointed by that. Even more disappointing is the only new story found in the game comes in the form of collectible cassette tapes you can play in the main menu. They are quite polarizing and very uncomfortable. The internet's reaction to them has been just about as varied as they are to the game. One thing is for certain, people have a right to be upset when they pay an upwards of $20 for a game that has no new story. I think the gameplay is enough to keep me hooked and I still have a strong desire to play it again and again, but it's easy to see why some people would not.


All in all, I give this game:

FIVE OUT OF FIVE FIDDLES!
If there are any comments left for the game it would be: Great gameplay, great sound design, great fun. Disappointing lack of story, not enough weapons, and the map is quite small once you get used to it. If anything I am more hyped for The Phantom Pain now than ever, and hope that it is just as big they say it is. Because while Ground Zeroes was great, and I can honestly say I love it, I'm still hungry. Bring on The Phantom Pain...

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On Ground Zeroes; Pricing, Length, and Entitlement

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes has drawn up a bit of controversy in these past few days. It started with a Game Informer article, which says they were able to finish the game in "about" two hours. That was shortly followed up with information that Kojima Productions speed-runners were able to finish the main mission(Of which there is only one. The rest being side missions.) in 5 minutes.

The controversy surrounding the game chalks it up to being a cash-grab for Konami, a clear plead for more money. They've hit a "roadblock" that Ground Zeroes could clear, people say. Konami needs money, and they are splitting this segment of the game from the rest of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, to earn it back, and that's not cool, people are saying.

The reality with this scenario is that The Phantom Pain is an unknown amount of time away and bears such a drastic change from the traditional Metal Gear Solid formula that it would benefit both the fanbase and Kojima Productions by easing players in with a tutorial. But it's not just a tutorial, there is a narrative that will lead players into the next game, The Phantom Pain.

This way, with as far out as The Phantom Pain could be, they can incorporate feedback right into the game and improve it even further. But for some people, this isn't good enough.

Let's look at the pricing for Ground Zeroes.

  • Retail PS3/360: $30.
  • Digital PS3/360: $20.
  •  
  • Retail PS4/Xbone: $40
  • Digital PS4/Xbone: $30.

Hmmm. It's actually quite pricey, isn't it? It may be quick to write off most people as "the internet" we all love to hate, but when you look at the numbers, for a game that can be potentially completed in 5(Read: FIVE) minutes, those higher numbers start to look worse and worse.

It's definitely interesting to see a reduced price for a small taste of the game, that definitely makes sense and it's nice to see publishers making such forward progression towards the realization that digital games are cheaper than retail games, due to no case, and less overall cost to them, the additional price on the PS4/Xbone versions are not so nice.

In practice, you could end up paying double the cost for one version of the game than the other. It's nice to think that Konami would be so progressive with its pricing for digital being less, but it forces me to think the opposite when you see next-gen versions are more expensive than their predecessors.

When you boil it down, what advantages does the PS4/Xbone versions really have to offer? Better graphics? Faster loading times? Is that worth paying twice the price for it?

When you boil it down to looking better and loading faster, under all of the grime and glitter, it's the same game. No additional content will be applied to the next-gen versions, no additional support is planned. When you buy the game, you get the game, whatever version it happens to be.

In my opinion, people have a right to be peeved about the situation with Ground Zeroes. In my boat, I have always planned on buying digitally for the PS3, which in my opinion, is the most appropriately priced version, $20. For $20 you get one short mission and 5 side missions, and a couple of cutscenes. You also get to play around with the brand new mechanics, weapons and world of Metal Gear Solid, which is the biggest selling point to me, but not many people would agree with me on that.

For a time, you could get a game titled Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag for around $40 when it was on sale. That game consists of at least 50 hours of content. For someone without a lot of money, that $40 commitment is a no-brainer. Assuming you like the Assassin's Creed formula, you are getting tons of content per dollar. A stark contrast to the content you will find in a game like Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes, which is already the spark of debate around the net.

How much you spend vs. how much fun you have, that's something you'll have to figure out for yourself. But as Hideo Kojima and the rest of Kojima Productions have recently posted around their social media counterparts, they truly believe in the quality of their product and will proudly see the title on shelves next to games very much like Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag.

Regardless, there are people out there that would probably pay even more.

On second thought, maybe $40 isn't so bad...

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The blog is now finalized

It's been months, and quite frankly I've forgotten all about this thing a few times, but it's finished. It's unfortunate that image Shack had to move to a premium model, as that's where I decided to host the images for this blog, so that probably won't end up backfiring or resulting in catastrophic failure.

I am excited. The world will hear my words(that kill) and I will be internet famous in no time, and dead by 30. The way it should be.

I hope you enjoy what I may potentially write in the near or far future, depending on when I forget this exists.

Thanks.

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TEST POST PLEASE IGNORE

TESTING THIS TESTY TEST TEST

WOOP WOOP

WORDS GO HERE


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